Falling Leaves

     The other morning when I was walking I noticed how much the leaves on the trees had really begun to lose their green color, moving on to the luscious reds and yellows. Yes, the trees had decided, as they do each year, to take a rest so that next year they would be full of energy and vitality for the spring season. How often do we take a rest in order to have the stamina to go on with vim and vigor? Not often enough I will wager. What a change we would see in ourselves if we took time out on a daily basis simply to contemplate life. Most of us just keep going as we grumble about not having enough time to do all the things we need to do, or think we need to do. Can each one of us look at our lives and  be happy with what we have done with our lives and maybe even change? What is important? Maybe the falling leaves can tell us.

Time?

     Where does time go? Are we the ones that let it fly by? I am beginning to think that our daily list making is the culprit. Each day the question comes to mind-"Will we do all we have set out to do? Who is the judge? Of course, we are and as a result of not completing a list we begin to judge ourselves and our shortcomings. What good does that do? I am going to leave that question in the air for all of you to figure out.
     At any rate it has been at least 3 weeks since I returned from Spain. Still not having the answer of why I love that country so much I begin to contemplate the idea of perhaps living another life in that country along time ago. Or, I am preparing for a future there? Too much to think about at the moment, so I will let you do that.

Clarity Always Available

      Took an  early morning walk this morning, the usual, but not really. The clarity of the atmosphere was remarkable. The bridge was pure orange, good old Golden Gate; the mountain showed forth tones of rose and pink, Tamalpais. Was I as clear as my surroundings, I wondered. The cloudiness had to be cleared out, so that I would be ready for clear thinking. How do I do that? I drank in my surroundings and found I joined the clarity of the day.

Instructions to Myself

     With too much time, I can wonder what to do. Perhaps I have too many choices, so consistently  I only do little bits here and there. As I have often said, and many times contradicted by my friends, "I am a woman of many interests and few talents."
     What is talent? Do we all have it? Yes, I believe a healthy curiosity will expose a hidden attraction to something each of us can excel in, and if not excel, at least enjoy what we do with the interest.
     Life is wonderful! I decided that some time ago and probably restate the thought some time of each day. Choose anything and make it positive. Learn to care about anything that comes to mind. Keep active in body and mind Don't listen to the ones who may say,"Why would you do that?" or those that say "You have too much energy. Slow down." Do what your heart tells you to do, and follow each word of wisdom that comes to mind. Be your own unique self.

Early Morning in a Small Woods

     I simply have to tell anyone who will listen that indeed we do have a bit of a woods here in Belvedere and Tiburon. This morning, very early--yes it was 6AM--I walked on over to the club to do an early workout. I took the shortcut that takes me past wetland saved for wildlife and there I was alone. Yes, one could imagine one walking through a real forest, for in the quietness I heard birdsongs. How fortunate I am to have fantastic surroundings, quietness for thought, and a delicious fog to keep me cool. I love it and want everyone to share it.
     Come take my hand. Be careful where the big tree has spread its roots, and don't forget to use the smooth railings some dear soul constructed. Whoops! You almost had that branch hit your face. Believe it or not, after the workout we return the same way but have a reward---a hot cup of coffee brewed by Uan at the club.
     What a beginning.

Saturday's Rambling Thoughts

     Today is a day to meditate, cogitate, and  just plain think. I have been thinking about a movie I saw last night about Jung and Freud. They were the first to really start dealing with the mind, coming to terms with what influences one. One thing that comes to my mind is that one must constantly nourish the mind, check its state, and even change course on where it's going. Along with this one might even acquire some self knowledge which will take us a long way to understanding ourselves and others. It is our thoughts that count not the latest fashion we are wearing. Think about it? What is the most important thing to learn in our time on this earth?

Life is a Wonderful Experience

     Once again, here I am--wondering who I am and what to write. At times it seems there is not enough time to do all I want and seem to need to do before I leave this earth.
     Truly, life is a wonderful experience each day, bringing new ideas, new things to learn, new people to meet, new places to go. How can I do it all? The answer, of course, and sometimes seems even banal is to live in the moment and make each moment count. How do I know if I am making each moment count? Do I line up all that I think and do and give a value to each thought and activity or do I blindly go on not aware of the things I want to do? Questions about how to lead a life will always be floating around, people questioning themselves, other times assuring themselves that indeed they are on their right path, theirs alone.
     Before I can ever know what is my right direction, as a matter of fact the way anyone knows a right direction, is to listen and try, listen and try. There is no map of life. The complete map exists only at the end of a life, a little jog each day which can be looked at the next day, perhaps with a promise of change. On the other hand, it could be a pat on one's own back assuring oneself of a good job.
     What is a good job and who is the judge? A circle of friends may throw out compliments, but many times that comes only from habit. How can I know whether these words are heartfelt or simply space fillers because of a friend's need to talk. I have noticed that silence can be scary for many people.

New Talent

     Sometimes I think I have lost my head. Look carefully. Do you see it tumbling down the street? So here I am "The Headless Writer". Why do I bother to tell you this? Of course, it is because I have such a difficult time arriving at my blog so that I can post my thoughts. Following all the directions each time, sometimes works and other times not.
     Having just viewed some videos on You Tube, I am all rived up. Listen to Quinn Sullivan and you will be, too. This 14-year old kid is being compared to Eric Clapton, B.B. King and Jimme Hendrix. Truly he can really play the blues. His first album will be out next month.
     Off to the library.

Sunday School and the New York Times

     Well, here I am on a Sunday afternoon reading the New York Times and waiting for the arrival of Kimberley, my granddaughter. She is a sweetie!! When I see her I remind myself of how lucky I am to have her although the time of arrival changes minute by minute. A million things can keep her. Traffic and breakfast with the boyfriend are most paramount. We will be able to hike, and I am glad for that.
      I taught Sunday School this morning as a sub. My one student is a charmer finishing up his year as a freshman in high school. We had a grand time ending up writing a poem about Moses leading the Israelites to the promised land. Even mentioned all the challenges they had to meet. At the end I really thought we had a great session

Will She Make It?

     Today was my last day at the middle school where I have been volunteering in the 7th grade--to help students with their writing. Sometimes I think they could help me more. The twelve year old I helped today revealed a lot about herself. She spoke so lovingly about both her mother and father, telling me that they told her to hold on to her dreams and always realize that no one can judge except God. She accepted all of that and certainly showed that she was her own self. She plans to live in New York City after she graduates from college. I just hope her dreams come true. The newspapers inform us that income determines your success in school and afterwards, not race or whatever. Sometimes I feel so helpless in the little I do.

Good-bye Frustration, Hello Life

     Frustration!! How can I rid myself of it and remain calm? It has been such a long time since I have really used my blog that each time I attempt to write and leave a draft, it is impossible to find the draft again. I guess I will just leave them in the clouds. I am certainly not going to become upset.
     Last night at the library function for the volunteers etc. I connected with so many great people. Is it just our community that brings out the best in people? Everyone contributes. One person was very alert to seeing a woman standing by herself, looking lost. She excused herself from the group and went to the lost woman. That is really following that good old Golden Rule. Life is fantastic! Get up in the morning with a smile on your face to take in what the day will bring you. Good awaits you.

Helping

     Today was my day for helping out at Willow Creek Academy in Sausalito. It is a weekly occurrence when I try to do something for others, in this case two 7th grade boys. Today the teacher told me he has seen improvement in their writing, so I must be getting through a little. Because I have been working with the boys since the beginning of the school year I find I am even able to help them with ideas of courteousness. Perhaps they are not getting these ideas from other sources, or maybe ignore the ideas presented to them. Because I kind of fit into the grandmother role they seem to respond to me. It is gratifying to say the least. I love dealing with young kids! It helps me to understand what's going on in the world for them--so much to deal with and so complicated compared to my time of youth.

Give and Be Happy

     It has always been my thought that we should try to help others as much as possible. I don't remember ever saying what one gives comes back, but I certainly have experienced that. Good things do happen. Recently, I read an article in the NYT about Adam Grant, a professor at the Wharton School of Business. Grant states that helping others gives you a good feeling, thus making you more satisfied with your job and actually your whole life. We all know, Grant states, that there are Givers, Matchers, and Takers. Being a Giver makes us feel good. The article states that Grant practically never says no to anyone. He has a new book out titled GIVE AND TAKE. Grant connected to me. Does he connect with you or do you think it is all "hog wash"?

Easter Sunday

     Easter Sunday today, a day of Love, I suppose. But, and that is a long but, I'm tired of the huggy kind of thing that so many people do. It's a false demonstration for many. Why in the world does someone who is a plain ordinary American want to hug someone he has met once and with whom he has exchanged about two words? Are we trying to bring something from another culture into our good old American culture? Maybe I just want to complain. What I do want is just plain honesty and not a put on show.
     Now that the above is out of my system I can go on to other things, like the New York Times. I get the Sunday edition and spend the following week reading the whole thing. It is a wonderful feeling to have a cup of coffee to sip as I turn the crinkly pages. Will that be gone soon? I hope not.
     Let's have a toast to this day. I will go to the kitchen and find my bag of See's small chocolate eggs,pop one into my mouth and sweeten my attitude.

Back to Writing

     Something has been urging me to start writing again. Maybe it's because I am helping a couple of boys with writing, in a charter school in Sausalito, a small town near Belvedere. When the boys were given an assignment to write a personal essay about their present, past and future, my senses took hold. My life has been a long one. I should look at it on these personal terms also. Heavens, I could probably publish volumes I have lived so long.
     The only writing I have done since first writing on my blog has been an attempt to write some memories for Janie and Bruce, my children. Along with that each evening before turning out the light next to my bed, I pick up the small notebook from the night stand and begin to write what I was grateful on that particular day. Perhaps I should go back to that little book to get more ideas for my present, past and future. What do you think?